.“Not bad for a white boy.” ... and a beautiful, blond Viking-warrior-princess disguised as a police officer.Please imagine the following from a cartoon; the wasckly wabbit has once again turned the hunter’s devices against him. The hunter has been blown to kingdom come, and covered in black soot, he stands before the camera wearing just his pokka-dot boxers. He grins; he blushes; he covers himself with both hands as he makes the universal body gesture for “I really gotta pee.”Got that picture in mind?That was me.Without the boxers.“Hahahahaha ha,” I meekly giggled with a machine gun cadence.“But his vocabulary is a little bit larger than I have been led to believe,” she said as she sized me up.Hopefully, not because she was deciding where a karate kick would do the most damage.“Uh.”“That’s the word I was waiting for,” replied my tormentor, starting to the kitchen behind me. As she went by, her hand flew out. It landed with a loud smack right where the huge scar that ran down my leg. “Come on, let’s meet the woman who put on this rally.”“Oh?” I asked, slipping past my daughter Lola and her fiancee, Jen. They got engaged not long after Jen announced she was pregnant with my daughter. I think that was last week. Everything was starting to blur together.“You’re going to love it, Mom,” Bethany said, giving me a big grin. “She’s eager to see you.”That had me arching my eyebrow. Then I frowned. I was in the part of Texas where I ... I blinked, seeing a woman outside the bus that looked so familiar. She was older, just like I was, matured from that innocent, trembling virgin I deflowered a dozen or so years ago.“Scarlett?” I asked as I climbed off the boss and stared at the woman, her bleached-blonde hair falling loose about her face instead of the braid I remembered. “Scarlett Pelley, right?”“It’s Morgensten now,” she said. “Been that way for a decade.”“Congratulations,” I said, smiling at the first virgin I ever deflowered. She wore an airy dress, a golden cross.
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